The secret of faithfulness

(This is an outline of the message preached by Michael Larsen on July 5, 2020.)

Today we're going to look at the seventh of these nine secrets of healthy relationships -- faithfulness. Hebrews 13:4 says "Husbands and wives must be faithful to each other. God will judge those who are immoral and commit adultery."  

I want to share with you six ways to prevent affairs in your marriage:

1.  MAKE A COMMITMENT TO GOD'S STANDARD

Psalm 119:9 "How can a person keep his way pure? By living according to your Word." God's standard is very clear. Adultery is never an option. Under no circumstances is it ever right. Proverbs 5:15 "Be faithful to your own wife and give your love to her alone." This is not a suggestion. This is a command.  

2.  MAGNIFY THE CONSEQUENCES

Proverbs 6:32 "The one who commits adultery is an utter fool for he destroys his own soul." Nothing damages the emotion like sexual sin. That's why God put parameters on it. Jesus said it's better for you to lose an eye than for you to loose your soul. Proverbs 6:26 "Adultery will cost a man all that he has."  

 Here are 3 more reasons to remain faithful:

   1. I love my wife and kids.

   2. I love Jesus Christ.

   3. I honestly fear the judgment of God. Hebrews 13:4 "God will judge those who are immoral and those who commit adultery."

3.  MAINTAIN YOUR MARRIAGE

The better your marriage is maintained, the less the pull of affairs are on your marriage. 1 Corinthians 3:7 "A man should fulfill his duty as a husband and a woman should fulfill her duty as a wife, and each should satisfy the other's needs."  

The top five needs of most men are: 1. Sexual fulfillment, 2. Recreational companionship, 3. An attractive spouse, 4. Domestic support, 5. Admiration.

The top five needs of most women are: 1. Affection, 2. Conversation, 3.Honesty and openness, 4. Financial support, 5. Family commitment.

4.  MANAGE YOUR MIND

There are a series of events that precede a fall.

Step one: Accepting sinful thoughts in my mind.

   A fantasy affair

   James 1:14-15 "Temptation is the pull of a person's own evil thoughts and wishes. These evil thoughts lead to evil actions, and afterwards to death."

   2 Timothy 2:22 "Turn your back on lustful desires and give your positive attention to goodness, integrity, love, and peace."  

   Romans 16:19 "I want you to be wise about what is good and innocent about what is evil."

Step two: Emotional, non physical involvement

   An emotional affair

Step three: Physical involvement.  

   A sexual affair  

Step four. Rationalizing the affair.

   Jeremiah 17:9 "The heart is deceitful and desperately wicked. Who can know it?" We offer up excuses such as “My doesn’t meet my needs," or "We love each other." Also we say "God will forgive me no matter what I do."

5.  MAINTAIN PROPER RELATIONSHIPS

   1. Don't listen to a member of the opposite sex complain to you about his/her spouse.

   2. Be aware of a sense of attraction between you and another person.

6.  MINIMIZE THE OPPORTUNITY

   1) Recognize the kind of situations that stimulate or tempt you.

   I Corinthians 10:12 "So be careful! If you are thinking, `Oh, I would never behave like that -- let this be a warning to you. For you too may fall into sin."  

   2)  Choose your friends carefully.

   I Corinthians 15:33 "Bad company corrupts good character."

   3)  Establish some protective guidelines.

PATHWAY BACK TO PURITY:

   1. Acknowledge the sin. Stop making excuses and call it what it is.

   2. End the relationship immediately.

   3. Avoid all contact with that person from now on.