The secret of gentleness

(This is a summary of the message preached by Michael Larsen on July 12, 2020.)

We're continuing our series on the Fruits of the Spirit. Today we’re on gentleness. You might associate gentleness with letting people walk all over you.

But there is actually power in gentleness. Gentleness is the power of your potential under God's control.

What does a gentle person look like? How does a gentle person act? The characteristics of gentle people. P – Personality, O – Outlook, W – Words, E – Expectations, R – Response.

P - PERSONALITY

Gentle people have their personalities under God's control. God can do anything, far more than you can ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams. He does it by working within us, His Spirit deeply and gently within us. Gentle people are people whose personalities, whose character traits are under God's control. Jesus said in John 15:4 "You must go on growing in me and I will grow in you. For just as the branch cannot bear fruit unless it shares the life of the vine, so you can produce nothing unless you go on growing in me."  

O - OUTLOOK

As our character begins to change it has an incredible affect on our outlook, on how we see other people. How we see other people will determine two things:  our attitudes toward them and our actions toward them. When our outlook comes under God's control, we start seeing and working for the benefit of other people, not just ourselves. Philippians 2:4-5 "Don't just think about your own affairs, but be interested in other's too and what they are doing. Your attitude should be the same as Jesus Christ.”

When your outlook comes under God's control, you start becoming a little more understanding.

2 Peter 1:7 "Learn to put aside your own desires so that you will become patient and godly. This will make possible the next step, which is for you to enjoy other people and to finally you will grow to love them deeply." When we start reaching out to other people instead of just being concerned with ourselves, we start becoming caring and loving towards them.

James 4:1-2 "Where do the fights and quarrels among you come from?  They come from your desires which are constantly fighting within your bodies.  You strongly desire things but you cannot get them so you quarrel and fight."  James 3:16 "Wherever there is jealousy or selfish ambition, there will be disorder and every other kind of evil."

We become gentle when our outlook is under God's control.

W - WORDS

James 3:6,8 says "The tongue is a flame of fire.It is full of wickedness and poisons every part of the body. The tongue is set on fire by hell itself and can turn our whole lives into a blazing flame of destruction and disaster. But no human being can tame the tongue. It is always ready to pour out its deadly poison."    

Do you know how God controls your words? He first tames your hearts. Our hearts have to first be changed by God in order for our words to be changed, in order for our actions to be changed.

Jesus said in Luke 6:45 "Whatever is in the heart overflows into the speech". Ephesians 4:29, Paul admonishes us, "Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift." One of the characteristics of gentle people is that their words are under control.  

E - EXPECTATIONS

When someone disappoints you, are you gentle or are you judgmental? Your response will determine the health of that relationship. 

Proverbs 15:4 "Gentle words cause life and health." Ephesians 4:2, "Be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each others faults because of your love."  

Gentle people have their Expectations under God's control.

R - RESPONSE

Gentle people are responsible. They are able to control their response.  Proverbs 16:32 "He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his own spirit, than he who captures a city."

How can we become more able to control our responses? Seek first to understand their feelings and your feelings, then to be understood by them.

Proverbs 15:2 "The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly." Empathy is listening to understand where that other person is coming from before you start making assumptions about their motives.

Bring yourself under God's control and that will radically transform your relationships for the better.