The secret of love

9 Secrets of Healthy Relationships - Part 1

(This is a summary of the message that was preached on March 22, 2020.)

Today we’re beginning a series on the Fruit of the Spirit from Galatians 5:22,23. I believe each fruit contributes to a healthy relationship. Today we're going to talk about love. What is the secret to love? We're going to talk today about how to develop a kind of love that can last for a lifetime in all your relationships.

Two simple things you can do to keep love alive:

I. ASK WHAT LOVE IS

Two popular misconceptions:

1. Love is only a feeling.

2. Love is uncontrollable.

What God says about love

1. God says that Love is a choice. Colossians 3:14 says "And over all these virtues, put on love, which binds them all together."

2. Love is a matter of conduct. It's how I act. I John 3:18 "Let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions and truth."

II. ACT LIKE LOVE ACTS

I Corinthians 13:4-7 is the definition of how love acts. These verses are often read at weddings. It's called the Love Chapter sometimes. It tell us how love acts:

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

1. Love is patient tells me that love is alive when it has time. It tells me that love is dying when it's hurried, in a rush. It tells me that love is dead when it cannot wait.

Ephesians 4:2 says "Be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other's faults because of your love."

2. Love is alive when it cares, is dying when it forgets, is dead when it ignores.

Ephesians 4:32 says "Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God has forgiven you."

3. Love is alive when it is secure. It's dying when it starts doubting. And it's dead when it stops trusting.

I Corinthians 13:4 says "Love does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud."

4. Love is alive when it's giving. It's dying when it's exchanging. And it's dead when it's taking (when it's selfish).

5. Love is alive when it acts its way into a feeling. It's dying when it feels but doesn't act. And it's dead when it feels it's way into an action.

I Corinthians 13:7: "Love always protects [even when I feel like abandoning you, I will protect our love], love always trusts [even though I feel like hating you, I will learn to trust you], love always hopes [even though I feel like there is no future, I'll look forward to a future with you] and love always perseveres [even when every bone of my body says I want to run and hide, I'm going to stick through this with you]."

Three simple questions to end with:

How do I keep a love alive? Don't take it for granted.

How do I handle a love that is dying? Act in love and not in fear.

How do I handle a love that's died? We have a God who specializes in resurrections.