The Marriage Matrix: Part 3
(The following is an outline of the sermon preached by Michael Larsen on August 11, 2019.)
Romans 4:17 “God raises the dead to life and creates new things.” If God can raise a dead person He can raise a dead marriage. How do you make the most of what you’ve got? There are six steps to a marriage makeover A-B-C-D-E-F
A – Accept responsibility for my part.
Galatians 6:5 says, “Each person must be responsible for himself.”
There’s no such thing as incompatibility. What it really is, is immaturity. Almost any two people are compatible if they try to be.
B – Believe God can change my marriage.
God has not given up on your marriage. God can do what we can’t do.
Matthew 19:26 “Humanly speaking it is impossible but with God everything is possible.”
C – Commit to doing whatever it takes
Galatians 6:9 says this “Let us not get tired of doing what is right for after awhile we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t get discouraged and give up.” Have you ever heard anybody say, “They have a great marriage. Aren’t they lucky?” They’re not lucky. If you ever see somebody who has a great marriage it didn’t come out of luck. It came because they put a lot of effort into that relationship.
D – Deal with unresolved hurt.
You do that two ways. By asking for forgiveness and by offering forgiveness.
James 5:16 says this “Admit your faults to one another and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” Admit to somebody that you’re wrong. Ask for forgiveness.
You ask for forgiveness but then you also offer forgiveness. Colossians 3:13 says this “Be gentle and ready to forgive. Never hold grudges. Remember the Lord forgave you so you must forgive others.” Your marriage will not make it without forgiveness on a daily basis.
E – Enlist support from others.
Don’t face it alone. Find some people that will support the strengthening of your relationship. It may be a wise friend. It may be a counselor. It may be a marriage mentor, a couple you find that has a great marriage that you decide to spend time with so you can learn from them. Don’t go to your parents!
F – Focus on trusting Jesus.
You’ve got to get Him at the center of your life and marriage. The easiest thing to do in life is to lose your focus. Hebrews 12:3 says, “We must focus on Jesus, the source and goal of our faith.”
Philippians 2:13 “God, who is at work within you will give you the will and the power to achieve His purpose.”
You may need some counseling. You may need to get in a small group. You may need to read some Christian books on marriage. But what you really need is Christ at the center of your life. Because if Jesus is in you and Jesus is in your spouse, Jesus gets along with Jesus. There’s no problem there.
You say, “But I don’t love him anymore.” So what! That makes it sound like it’s uncontrollable like I can’t help myself. Love is a choice. Just like happiness is a choice. You choose to love the people that you love and you choose to not love the people you don’t love. It’s a choice. It’s not like it’s out of your control. If you choose to love, the feelings will return.
You say “I just don’t have the heart for it.” God says in Ezekiel 11:19 “I’ll give you new heart and I’ll put a new spirit within you.”
Some of you are thinking, “I married the wrong person at the wrong time in the wrong way. What should I do? Leave them in divorce?” God says “No! You made a vow. Let Me do a miracle makeover. I will change you. I will change your partner and I will give you the marriage you’ve always dreamed of if you’ll let Me do it. If you’ll do it My way.” God could do that.
It’s not that you married the wrong person. It’s just that you’re doing marriage in the wrong way.